Frustrated by Inactivity

There is so much I want to do and so much I can't that I feel frustrated. And not only am I frustrated I am taking my frustration out by also being frustrated at Ryan. I realized this today so I could finally explain why I keep getting annoying at the projects he is not working on - both the ones he is in the middle of and the ones he says he will do. I realized I am not frustrated at him but at my inability to do anything.

I can't lift things to move furniture that needs to be moved in preparation for the new carpet we are getting. I can't clean the side of the house with the overgrowing plants because that would be too taxing -- and also because there is poison ivy there -- which I have been fighting off on my ankles.

I can't run. When I walk I quickly tire and quickly need to pee. I am finally feeling my pregnancy weight in full effect. I can't stop eating sweets (or making them (so many cookies!!)). My heartburn is much better but sometimes pops up. My poison ivy itchiness is driving me bonkers and swelling up my right ankle and foot to gross proportions -though I am relieved that the doctor confirmed it is poison ivy. (Good news: The doctor confirmed it is poison ivy. Bad news: I have poison ivy.)

After some time feeling listless and trying to figure out something productive to do I decided to go on a walk despite the mid-afternoon heat. I also decided that I was going to walk farther than usual and just take my time and try to tire myself out - to drain off some excess energy that keeps just taking shape as frustration.

I filled up my water bottle and headed off. I went out and around the school, near the track, and back. But on the way back I stopped at the dollar store and bought a bunch of pink cups, plates, napkins, and plasticware for the coming weekend's baby shower. They also have pink table covers and I may go back for those, but I settled on those necessary items for now. I got three bags of stuff - semi-heavy but not unmanageable, and I headed back home. The walk back felt tougher - obviously due to the extra weight. But I went nice and slow and just chugged along. Listening to the Dinner Party Download helped - and my walk and shopping ended up taking the length of an episode.

I got back and felt toasty - as it was quite toasty in the sun. But once in the shade it was very pleasant. I sat on the porch a little as Ryan did the yard work I had guilted him into doing. I then ate some cereal and realized one area I could be productive in was with cooking dinner - so I got out the recipe book and found a chicken recipe that seemed to work nicely with the ingredients I had around. And so I experimented and for dinner we are having a modified version of Chicken Tagine with Couscous. As I finish writing this post Ryan doesn't yet know I cooked something so I look forward to him discovering this, and I hope it makes up for some of my unfair frustration venting I have been taking out on him.

New Miles: 1.5
Total Miles: 1546.25
Weight: 161.4 ... after a big brunch with several donuts... felt super gross when I got on the scale and seeing the scale number didn't help... especially since I know that all recent weight is from junk food.